On Pressure

I like a bit of pressure, even when it comes from myself, to help me do my best work! I always find it helpful to analyze when I get nervous or feel the need to perform. It helps me keep things in perspective and really evaluate what my goals are.  I like the right amount of nervous anticipation, when my desire to do a good job makes me hyper-focused on the task at hand. We've all had experiences where our nerves got the better of us, but if we treat those awful, anxiety-ridden moments as learning experiences, they can be a useful tool for growth!

-Sarah Bracken


Check out Seth Godin's blog post on pressure.

Factory Education?

by Amanda Vogel

As Ken Robinson implores in his talk Changing Education Paradgims, “If you are interested in the model of education, you don’t start from a production line mentality.” His talk elicits powerful images of children sorted in batches, moving down an assembly line. He brings up some tough questions we need to ask as parents and educators:

• Are our schools focused on “conformity” and “standardization?”
• Do our schools treat children like items being produced in a factory?

Unfortunately, the answers to these questions may be yes.

An article in the July issue of Wired,“How Khan Academy is Changing the Rules of Education” outlines how students can learn math for free at their own pace through the website Khan Academy. A motivated student can do some pretty amazing things on this site. The article tells stories of 5th graders independently learning advanced high school trigonometry!

But some teachers don't like the idea of students making this much progress: “Khan’s programmer, Ben Kamens, has heard from teachers who’ve seen Khan Academy presentations and loved the idea, but wondered whether they could modify it 'to stop students from becoming this advanced'.”

It’s hard to react to this statement with anything less than fury. Aren’t teachers supposed to help students reach the fullest potential they possibly can? Shouldn't teachers embrace any means by which they can individualize to students?

We know that students learn at their own pace, and that they have different strengths and interests. It's hard to imagine that, when presented with an option like Khan, some teachers are pushing against it. The last thing we want is to teach students to reach for mediocrity, or to sentence them to boredom day after day in the classroom.

As an educator, the idea of my students advancing quickly and going beyond what they or others ever thought was possible is exhilarating! In fact, the concept of individualization is the foundation of the Nurturing Wisdom Academy. Classes like math, reading, and writing will be self-paced and taught in very small groups. Students will also have independent time each day to pursue their goals and passions. Above all, our goal is not to keep every student on the same page. We don't want to treat them like cogs along an assembly line. We want to encourage them to continually grow. We believe that there are no limits to what students can achieve!

Visit us online:

academy.nurturingwisdom.com

Tutor Spotlight: Brian Pyle

Brian has been tutoring with Nurturing Wisdom for over a year. He has a degree in psychology from Purdue and is currently finishing his master's in secondary education at DePaul. He is energetic, engaging and eager to help his students succeed!

The summer before high school, my parents decided that I needed tutoring for my organizational skills, or lack thereof. I had always been a decent student, but my lack of organization and study skills kept me from attaining the level of scholarship that I was capable of. Of course now I fully realize this, but back then I didn’t want to hear it. I remember being angry with my parents about tutoring, and not having the best attitude walking into my first session. When I actually met my tutor, it turned out that we had a lot of the same interests: sports, guitar, sketching and video games, just to name a few. I realized that my tutor was actually a cool guy, as opposed to the image I had built up in my head. I had never had a favorite teacher, or even one that I would approach before or after class, but in 5 minutes my tutor shattered my view of educators. He definitely had a hand in helping me decide that I wanted to pursue education as a career.

When I look back at how and why this tutor had such an impact on me, I realize that while the content he was teaching me was valuable, it was his attitude and openness that made him so memorable. Having that conversation with me let me know that this experience would be different. It showed me that I would be the focal point, and that my tutor genuinely cared about how I performed and whether I fully understood something.

Fast forward to today. I have been with Nurturing Wisdom for just over a year, and by far my favorite part of my journey with any student is the first session. I love breaking the ice with a student and letting them know that I am interested in their interests. I think that letting my students see me as a person instead of a just a tutor helps, which is why I take a vested interest in what they are doing outside of tutoring as well. Whether it’s a Boy Scout trip, football game, family vacation or a job, letting a student know that you are invested in them helps to build that student/tutor relationship. This approach led me to a career in education, and I look forward to continuing to have these rewarding experiences.

Why Doesn't My Smart Child Try Harder?

By Amanda Vogel

“Bright.” “Gifted.” “Quick learner.” “Exceptional.” “Smart.” What parents wouldn’t want to hear these words about their child? When your child is described this way, the elementary years cruise by easily. In the blink of an eye, picture books are replaced with chapter books, grades are strong, and there’s plenty of time for life outside of school.

Show us a child who was like this in elementary school and we'll show you a student who has likely become a “specialist” by junior high. These students do well on tests and bring home great grades, but not everything is rosy: they have begun to shy away from certain subjects. You’ll hear things like “I’m not good at math,” or “I don’t really like science,” or “Mr. Davis just doesn’t like me.”

For parents this is beyond puzzling. You may find yourself wondering, how did my bright, exceptional kid just decide that she couldn’t learn geometry or chemistry? You may even toy with the idea that your child really isn’t a “math person” and should instead focus on her amazing strengths in writing.

The Consequences of “Smart”
With the best intentions, parents, teachers, and loved ones are quick to give children positive labels. But these labels produce unexpected consequences. Carol Dweck, a researcher in cognitive science, has shown that we may damage our children’s motivation towards schoolwork by sticking them with positive labels. Her book, Mindset, is one that we strongly recommend.

In Mindset, Dweck explains that when we label children as “smart” or “exceptional” early on, these same children will later feel that they’re “just bad at math” or “klutzy at sports.” These children place themselves into categories: Smart vs. Not Smart. Talented vs. Hopeless.

They learn that being smart means being able to do things without effort. They actually become afraid of taking on challenges and exerting effort for fear that they will no longer look smart. Over time, these children focus more on areas where they feel “talented,” and shy away from areas where they feel that they do not have an natural gift. Even worse, these kids start to see mistakes as something to hide rather than an opportunity to learn: they come to see learning as an outcome, not a process.

What to do about it:
1) Read Mindset. This book is worth it. You’ll be amazed at how much the phenomenon of labeling affects all of us on a daily basis - not just in school but also at work, in sports, and even in relationships.

2) Praise your child for effort. When your son hits a home run, rather than calling him a “natural” at baseball, try, “Wow, your practice is really paying off!” When your daughter brings home a report card full of A’s, say, “I’m so impressed with the effort you’ve been putting into your schoolwork!” rather than praising her for being “smart.” Instead of praising for things that come easily and quickly, focus on your child’s hard work and perseverance towards a goal.

3) Mindset for the New School Year: You can help your child move from a “fixed” mindset to a “growth” mindset. Nurturing Wisdom is offering a short, five session tutoring program to prepare your child for the new school year. In this program, we spend some time helping students get organized and set up routines for the year, but our main emphasis is on reading excerpts from Mindset. We’ll teach students to understand the difference between a “fixed” mindset (you’re either smart or you’re not smart) and a “growth” mindset (if I work hard, I’ll improve). We’ll help students recognize their own mindsets, and help them set goals for the year ahead. Contact us to learn more!

Audrey and Lindsay play "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

Audrey and Lindsay have been working on their duet with High Note. Here they are, ready to share it with you!

Moving from "Meek" to "The Candor Queen"

Growing up, I was always described as “shy” or “quiet.” I didn’t often contribute to conversations or class discussions. I didn’t speak my mind. I was your typical good student that did what I was told and spoke when spoken to.

Taking on a confrontation? Ha! That rarely happened, even if I was really upset. I was your typical “avoider.” I internalized most of these situations and let them fester. Some would bother me until I finally “burst” and realized I had to do something about it. Often, this led to reacting emotionally as opposed to rationally.

These “quiet” and “anti-confrontational” characteristics continued from my childhood into my early adult years. In my first few jobs out of college, I still had difficulty contributing ideas and dealing with confrontations.

Luckily, my colleagues at Nurturing Wisdom really value helping us grow as individuals and give us resources to help us work on goals, both personal and work-related. My goal last year was to buck these trends that have followed me throughout my life.

When Pari asked us to read a chapter from the book Winning by Jack Welch, the text really spoke to me, and I discovered what my real problem is. I’m not “shy” because I’m afraid of people. In fact, I love people! I thrive being around people! I was actually afraid of being candid.

According to Welch, lack of candor is a pervasive problem in society, particularly in work places. He wrote in Winning, “…too many people—too often—instinctively don’t express themselves with frankness. They don’t communicate straightforwardly or put forth ideas looking to stimulate real debate. They just don’t open up. Instead they withhold comments or criticism.”

Yep, that was me! This quote couldn’t have described me more perfectly. I’m sure it also describes a lot of other people out there. The good news is that it is possible to change. You can move from being “shy” and an “avoider” to being candid. But it’s not going to be easy, just as it wasn’t easy for me.

First, I had to always keep candor in the front of my mind. If I found myself avoiding making a difficult phone call or a conversation I knew I needed to have, I would force myself to do it! I constantly had to tell myself, “just say it!”

For example, I needed to call one of our tutors to talk to him about how he wasn’t scheduling his tutoring appointments effectively. I worried and worried about making the call because I was going to have to convey negative information to him. When I finally picked up the phone, I was surprised to find that it turned out to be a really enjoyable call, all about strategies for improvement and growth. The tutor was actually relieved to be able to use these strategies in the future.

I put the same amount of effort toward contributing ideas at work and giving feedback to coworkers. I didn’t want them to get annoyed with me, but I still wanted to share my ideas. I constantly asked myself what I could contribute. I had to just throw my ideas out there and learn to be ok if they weren’t put into action.

Over time, all of this got easier. I found that my coworkers respected my ideas and encouraged me to contribute even more. Those tough conversations started to come more naturally. In fact I may have created a monster. My coworkers now call me the “candor queen” because they see me just “doing” or “saying” instead of hesitating. I’m also finding myself coaching others on how to be more candid.

It’s encouraging for me to know that characteristics of our personalities can change with enough desire and effort. My next project for personal growth: becoming a more effective leader!

Achieving the Impossible, pt. 2

In Lauren's last post, she wrote about the amazing effect students can have on tutors' lives. Here, Lauren gives another example of a student whose life she changed, who also changed her.

Every student I encounter teaches me something about myself and life. It is important to erase the stereotype that tutors change students only. This is a two way street. Every situation you encounter will teach you something and it is important to embrace these learning experiences to become a better teacher and person.

Enter Andrew. Andrew was a sophomore who needed tutoring for chemistry. Andrew is this adorable, shy guy who just makes your heart melt. He won’t ask questions in class, and he doesn’t raise his hand to answer questions. He’s that guy who wants to be invisible to teachers. When I started working with Andrew, I knew that I needed to break him out of his shell. I tried to be funny with him; he didn’t laugh at my jokes. I tried to talk about volleyball with him; he gave me one word answers. Over time, I continued with my failing techniques and each week, he would open up a little bit more. I was making progress!

But chemistry was a different story. Andrew had zero confidence when it came to chemistry. Not only did I have to help Andrew understand chemistry concepts, I also had to rebuild his confidence in the class. We worked slowly on this, and again, each week, he became more and more confident. I pushed him and put him in uncomfortable situations where he had to rely only on his brain to solve a problem. And after some time, he got it! He was understanding chemistry! He knew the formulas, he knew what to do with the formulas, he knew how to get the correct answer, and he felt confident going into his tests. YAY! This was a huge hurdle that we had overcome!

The only problem was that Andrew was still not doing well on tests. Where was this disconnect coming from? The second Andrew walked into class, everything he knew seemed to disappear. We started working on ways to overcome this and maintain his confidence in the classroom. At the end of the semester, Andrew’s grade was a 79.4%. 0.1% away from a B! Andrew begged and pleaded with his teacher to just boost him up to the B, but unfortunately his teacher wouldn’t budge.

But at the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Andrew had learned so much that was beyond chemistry. He had learned more about himself, he had become more social and confident! Reflecting on my time with Andrew, it really made me realize that the important things in life are not getting A’s on chemistry tests. Family, friends, and living in the moment are important. Life is too short not to shoot for the impossible and strive to achieve everything! Andrew really made me realize how important it is to focus on the things you can change, and not to worry about the things you can’t. Andrew couldn’t make his teacher give him that B, but what shows character is not to dwell on the letter grade. What shows character is the realization that what you take away from the experience is what really matters.