What If the Secret to Success is Failure?

We were fascinated by this New York Times article, written by Paul Tough. He profiles Dominic Randolph, the headmaster at The Riverdale School in New York City. The article discusses character and how it's possible to teach it.

For the headmaster of an intensely competitive school, Randolph, who is 49, is surprisingly skeptical about many of the basic elements of a contemporary high-stakes American education. He did away with Advanced Placement classes in the high school soon after he arrived at Riverdale; he encourages his teachers to limit the homework they assign; and he says that the standardized tests that Riverdale and other private schools require for admission to kindergarten and to middle school are “a patently unfair system” because they evaluate students almost entirely by I.Q. “This push on tests,” he told me, “is missing out on some serious parts of what it means to be a successful human.”

Read the rest of the article here!

What does "Pursue Growth and Learning" mean to you?

One of the things "pursue growth and learning" means to me is going outside of my comfort zone to try something new or difficult once in awhile.  This is hard to do but when I do, I find that the thing I initially thought would be really impossible isn't as scary as it seemed.

-Christian

To "pursue growth and learning" to me means to reflect on the areas where you excel or have an interest and try to learn more about those areas.  Doing this helps me to find areas where I can enhance my strength, learn more about a topic that interests me, and find new ideas related to this area.  I've always had an interest in music.  This year, I started learning how to play the piano.  I was able to build on an interest of mine and find a new creative outlet that has also helped me design orientation materials for our music program.

On the flip side, to "pursue growth and learning" also means to reflect on areas where I can further improve.  Reading more about these areas can help me find fresh ideas for making myself better in those areas.  For example, when I wanted to work on my communication skills, I read a chapter about candor in Jack Welch's book Winning.  This chapter really opened my eyes to the importance of open, honest communication.  I had no idea how much I needed to improve in this area until I started reading more about it.  

-Heather

I think the key part of “pursue growth and learning” is the word “pursue.” To pursue something is to make the effort to go out and actively seek it, rather than waiting for growth or learning to happen magically. It's so important to stretch yourself – even if you’re scared, even if you might fail. It’s about having a curious and open mind, wondering what’s possible, and then taking action to achieve it. With risk comes reward. You may not be able to predict what the reward will look like, but if you’re self-reflective, patient, and allow yourself the opportunity to try and to fail, some measure of wisdom and experience can be gained from every experience. Growth isn’t always comfortable – in fact, at times it can feel distinctly uncomfortable – but that does not mean that it's bad.

-Sonja

"Pursue growth & learning" has two equally important meanings for me:

First, it means not taking the easy way out or the easy route. It means accepting the challenge, being adventurous and taking risks because that's how you uncover the most information about a situation and about yourself and your own potential. It means putting yourself in situations where you will have to bring out your best and continually make your best better.  I think challenging yourself to learn and grow also puts you in situations that are more interesting and engaging, so you are in a position to make your best contribution as well as realize your full potential.

Second, it is an outlook that allows you to see the value of any experience, even if it was difficult or upsetting. It means pursuing a growth mindset; realizing what was gained (learned) from the experience and putting that new knowledge it into practice moving forward. 

-Bryce

NW Values: Pursue Growth and Learning

What does "Pursue Growth and Learning" mean to you?

To me, to pursue growth and learning means to seek out resources, to consult the experts as well as those in the trenches, to question and to listen and to attempt and to reflect. It means to be open to making mistakes and learning from them. Pursuing growth and learning means avoiding complacency and embracing change.

-Erin Doyle

I believe this means to make yourself better.  People should want to better themselves and learn- like in Mindset :) It is way of thinking. I think forcing yourself to pursue or look to change for improvement will not only make a person feel better, but also be a team player. Kids should not be the only people who need to grow and change, adults should too.  Learning is never ending as long as you let it.

-Jeanne

Pursue Growth and Learning means that you never have all the answers and there is always more to learn. It is important to always be interested in learning new things that might be out of your comfort zone or something you have always been interested in but never had the time to devote to it. It is important to always face a challenge head on and realize that no matter what happens, you will come out of it a better person. Being open to change and new things is an important trait to have.

-Lauren

Pursue Growth and Learning in October!

Perhaps it goes without saying, but here at Nurturing Wisdom, we’re a bunch of school nerds. We love learning!! There’s such a sense of satisfaction that comes from mastering a difficult skill, figuring out the solution to a complex problem, or learning how two seemingly unrelated concepts are connected.  As much as we try to enrich and engage our students, we also try to constantly challenge and improve ourselves.

That's why we've made October the official “Pursue Growth & Learning” month here at Nurturing Wisdom. To lead us off, here are some words from Pari on what that value means to her:

I bet "Pursue growth and learning" for a lot of people brings up images of taking classes, maybe going back to graduate school, or reading as many books as possible. 

To me, "Pursue growth and learning" is a mindset. I am a person who loves to grow, improve, and challenge myself. Yes, I read books and enjoy taking classes, but there is so much more to it than that! On a daily basis, I take the time to reflect on my day.  Did I have a good day? Why? Why not? What do I wish went differently today? What did I learn today?  

Taking the time each day to do this has accelerated my learning, but most importantly, it's accelerated my happiness in life. By constantly reflecting and learning from my own experiences, I've been able to grow as a person and enjoy my life. Every year of my life is better than the year before. So for me, "Pursue growth and learning" = "Pursue happiness."

-Pari Schacht

Moving from "Meek" to "The Candor Queen"

Growing up, I was always described as “shy” or “quiet.” I didn’t often contribute to conversations or class discussions. I didn’t speak my mind. I was your typical good student that did what I was told and spoke when spoken to.

Taking on a confrontation? Ha! That rarely happened, even if I was really upset. I was your typical “avoider.” I internalized most of these situations and let them fester. Some would bother me until I finally “burst” and realized I had to do something about it. Often, this led to reacting emotionally as opposed to rationally.

These “quiet” and “anti-confrontational” characteristics continued from my childhood into my early adult years. In my first few jobs out of college, I still had difficulty contributing ideas and dealing with confrontations.

Luckily, my colleagues at Nurturing Wisdom really value helping us grow as individuals and give us resources to help us work on goals, both personal and work-related. My goal last year was to buck these trends that have followed me throughout my life.

When Pari asked us to read a chapter from the book Winning by Jack Welch, the text really spoke to me, and I discovered what my real problem is. I’m not “shy” because I’m afraid of people. In fact, I love people! I thrive being around people! I was actually afraid of being candid.

According to Welch, lack of candor is a pervasive problem in society, particularly in work places. He wrote in Winning, “…too many people—too often—instinctively don’t express themselves with frankness. They don’t communicate straightforwardly or put forth ideas looking to stimulate real debate. They just don’t open up. Instead they withhold comments or criticism.”

Yep, that was me! This quote couldn’t have described me more perfectly. I’m sure it also describes a lot of other people out there. The good news is that it is possible to change. You can move from being “shy” and an “avoider” to being candid. But it’s not going to be easy, just as it wasn’t easy for me.

First, I had to always keep candor in the front of my mind. If I found myself avoiding making a difficult phone call or a conversation I knew I needed to have, I would force myself to do it! I constantly had to tell myself, “just say it!”

For example, I needed to call one of our tutors to talk to him about how he wasn’t scheduling his tutoring appointments effectively. I worried and worried about making the call because I was going to have to convey negative information to him. When I finally picked up the phone, I was surprised to find that it turned out to be a really enjoyable call, all about strategies for improvement and growth. The tutor was actually relieved to be able to use these strategies in the future.

I put the same amount of effort toward contributing ideas at work and giving feedback to coworkers. I didn’t want them to get annoyed with me, but I still wanted to share my ideas. I constantly asked myself what I could contribute. I had to just throw my ideas out there and learn to be ok if they weren’t put into action.

Over time, all of this got easier. I found that my coworkers respected my ideas and encouraged me to contribute even more. Those tough conversations started to come more naturally. In fact I may have created a monster. My coworkers now call me the “candor queen” because they see me just “doing” or “saying” instead of hesitating. I’m also finding myself coaching others on how to be more candid.

It’s encouraging for me to know that characteristics of our personalities can change with enough desire and effort. My next project for personal growth: becoming a more effective leader!