How do you engage a shy student?

We encounter all kinds of students at Nurturing Wisdom, and we do our very best to fulfill the needs of each one. As tutors, we love to see our students engaged, having fun and learning. Sometimes, when a student is very shy, we have to work a bit harder to break them out of their shell. We need to know that they're comfortable enough with us to ask questions, and that they're having fun too! I asked a few of our experienced tutors the following question:

How to you engage a very shy student?

"With a shy student, making a personal connection is key. In the first session, I probably spend more time getting to know a shy student than I would for an outgoing student, because they are less likely to offer information on their own. Usually, after chatting for a few minutes, they will tell you something personal about their lives - their favorite hobby, what they do after school, what they like to read, etc. Then I can respond to that ("I also love those books!" or "I didn't play that sport, but I played...") and we can go on from there. It is worth spending the extra few minutes to make that connection, because forming a bond with a shy student is key to their ultimate ability to open up and work with you."
-Laura Kurtycz


"Working with a shy student can be challenging at first. I am a very bubbly, outgoing person, so I have to make sure my personality isn't overwhelming. What I do is find out what they are interested in. Talk to them about sports, shopping, vacations, etc. I also like to make myself look like a fool. I tell stupid jokes to try to make them laugh, and really just show them that I am a person too. I have also talked about how I was shy in grade school and the beginning of high school. Then, I decided that I should just be myself and I wasn't trying to impress anyone. This is a very difficult task, but hearing it from someone who went through it seems to help."
-Lauren Feldmann


"I try to find out what the student is passionate about or knowledgeable on, and I ask him/her questions about that. (I also try to avoid yes/no questions!) It's usually easier for people to open up and talk about things that they love, and these little conversations are part of how the all-important rapport is built between me and my students.

This is why I really value the initial meetings that directors have with students and families before they start tutoring. Not only is the information helpful for the directors to match students, but it's also wonderful as a tutor to have an idea of how to connect with a student and how to teach them effectively, all before I walk into the first session."

-Sara McGuinn

"Changing Education Paradigms," by Sir Ken Robinson

If you haven't yet seen Ken Robinson's enlightening talk, "Changing Education Paradigms," I'd highly recommend it - it's fascinating!

On Pressure

I like a bit of pressure, even when it comes from myself, to help me do my best work! I always find it helpful to analyze when I get nervous or feel the need to perform. It helps me keep things in perspective and really evaluate what my goals are.  I like the right amount of nervous anticipation, when my desire to do a good job makes me hyper-focused on the task at hand. We've all had experiences where our nerves got the better of us, but if we treat those awful, anxiety-ridden moments as learning experiences, they can be a useful tool for growth!

-Sarah Bracken


Check out Seth Godin's blog post on pressure.

Factory Education?

by Amanda Vogel

As Ken Robinson implores in his talk Changing Education Paradgims, “If you are interested in the model of education, you don’t start from a production line mentality.” His talk elicits powerful images of children sorted in batches, moving down an assembly line. He brings up some tough questions we need to ask as parents and educators:

• Are our schools focused on “conformity” and “standardization?”
• Do our schools treat children like items being produced in a factory?

Unfortunately, the answers to these questions may be yes.

An article in the July issue of Wired,“How Khan Academy is Changing the Rules of Education” outlines how students can learn math for free at their own pace through the website Khan Academy. A motivated student can do some pretty amazing things on this site. The article tells stories of 5th graders independently learning advanced high school trigonometry!

But some teachers don't like the idea of students making this much progress: “Khan’s programmer, Ben Kamens, has heard from teachers who’ve seen Khan Academy presentations and loved the idea, but wondered whether they could modify it 'to stop students from becoming this advanced'.”

It’s hard to react to this statement with anything less than fury. Aren’t teachers supposed to help students reach the fullest potential they possibly can? Shouldn't teachers embrace any means by which they can individualize to students?

We know that students learn at their own pace, and that they have different strengths and interests. It's hard to imagine that, when presented with an option like Khan, some teachers are pushing against it. The last thing we want is to teach students to reach for mediocrity, or to sentence them to boredom day after day in the classroom.

As an educator, the idea of my students advancing quickly and going beyond what they or others ever thought was possible is exhilarating! In fact, the concept of individualization is the foundation of the Nurturing Wisdom Academy. Classes like math, reading, and writing will be self-paced and taught in very small groups. Students will also have independent time each day to pursue their goals and passions. Above all, our goal is not to keep every student on the same page. We don't want to treat them like cogs along an assembly line. We want to encourage them to continually grow. We believe that there are no limits to what students can achieve!

Visit us online:

academy.nurturingwisdom.com

Tutor Spotlight: Brian Pyle

Brian has been tutoring with Nurturing Wisdom for over a year. He has a degree in psychology from Purdue and is currently finishing his master's in secondary education at DePaul. He is energetic, engaging and eager to help his students succeed!

The summer before high school, my parents decided that I needed tutoring for my organizational skills, or lack thereof. I had always been a decent student, but my lack of organization and study skills kept me from attaining the level of scholarship that I was capable of. Of course now I fully realize this, but back then I didn’t want to hear it. I remember being angry with my parents about tutoring, and not having the best attitude walking into my first session. When I actually met my tutor, it turned out that we had a lot of the same interests: sports, guitar, sketching and video games, just to name a few. I realized that my tutor was actually a cool guy, as opposed to the image I had built up in my head. I had never had a favorite teacher, or even one that I would approach before or after class, but in 5 minutes my tutor shattered my view of educators. He definitely had a hand in helping me decide that I wanted to pursue education as a career.

When I look back at how and why this tutor had such an impact on me, I realize that while the content he was teaching me was valuable, it was his attitude and openness that made him so memorable. Having that conversation with me let me know that this experience would be different. It showed me that I would be the focal point, and that my tutor genuinely cared about how I performed and whether I fully understood something.

Fast forward to today. I have been with Nurturing Wisdom for just over a year, and by far my favorite part of my journey with any student is the first session. I love breaking the ice with a student and letting them know that I am interested in their interests. I think that letting my students see me as a person instead of a just a tutor helps, which is why I take a vested interest in what they are doing outside of tutoring as well. Whether it’s a Boy Scout trip, football game, family vacation or a job, letting a student know that you are invested in them helps to build that student/tutor relationship. This approach led me to a career in education, and I look forward to continuing to have these rewarding experiences.

Why Doesn't My Smart Child Try Harder?

By Amanda Vogel

“Bright.” “Gifted.” “Quick learner.” “Exceptional.” “Smart.” What parents wouldn’t want to hear these words about their child? When your child is described this way, the elementary years cruise by easily. In the blink of an eye, picture books are replaced with chapter books, grades are strong, and there’s plenty of time for life outside of school.

Show us a child who was like this in elementary school and we'll show you a student who has likely become a “specialist” by junior high. These students do well on tests and bring home great grades, but not everything is rosy: they have begun to shy away from certain subjects. You’ll hear things like “I’m not good at math,” or “I don’t really like science,” or “Mr. Davis just doesn’t like me.”

For parents this is beyond puzzling. You may find yourself wondering, how did my bright, exceptional kid just decide that she couldn’t learn geometry or chemistry? You may even toy with the idea that your child really isn’t a “math person” and should instead focus on her amazing strengths in writing.

The Consequences of “Smart”
With the best intentions, parents, teachers, and loved ones are quick to give children positive labels. But these labels produce unexpected consequences. Carol Dweck, a researcher in cognitive science, has shown that we may damage our children’s motivation towards schoolwork by sticking them with positive labels. Her book, Mindset, is one that we strongly recommend.

In Mindset, Dweck explains that when we label children as “smart” or “exceptional” early on, these same children will later feel that they’re “just bad at math” or “klutzy at sports.” These children place themselves into categories: Smart vs. Not Smart. Talented vs. Hopeless.

They learn that being smart means being able to do things without effort. They actually become afraid of taking on challenges and exerting effort for fear that they will no longer look smart. Over time, these children focus more on areas where they feel “talented,” and shy away from areas where they feel that they do not have an natural gift. Even worse, these kids start to see mistakes as something to hide rather than an opportunity to learn: they come to see learning as an outcome, not a process.

What to do about it:
1) Read Mindset. This book is worth it. You’ll be amazed at how much the phenomenon of labeling affects all of us on a daily basis - not just in school but also at work, in sports, and even in relationships.

2) Praise your child for effort. When your son hits a home run, rather than calling him a “natural” at baseball, try, “Wow, your practice is really paying off!” When your daughter brings home a report card full of A’s, say, “I’m so impressed with the effort you’ve been putting into your schoolwork!” rather than praising her for being “smart.” Instead of praising for things that come easily and quickly, focus on your child’s hard work and perseverance towards a goal.

3) Mindset for the New School Year: You can help your child move from a “fixed” mindset to a “growth” mindset. Nurturing Wisdom is offering a short, five session tutoring program to prepare your child for the new school year. In this program, we spend some time helping students get organized and set up routines for the year, but our main emphasis is on reading excerpts from Mindset. We’ll teach students to understand the difference between a “fixed” mindset (you’re either smart or you’re not smart) and a “growth” mindset (if I work hard, I’ll improve). We’ll help students recognize their own mindsets, and help them set goals for the year ahead. Contact us to learn more!

Audrey and Lindsay play "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

Audrey and Lindsay have been working on their duet with High Note. Here they are, ready to share it with you!