What If the Secret to Success is Failure?

We were fascinated by this New York Times article, written by Paul Tough. He profiles Dominic Randolph, the headmaster at The Riverdale School in New York City. The article discusses character and how it's possible to teach it.

For the headmaster of an intensely competitive school, Randolph, who is 49, is surprisingly skeptical about many of the basic elements of a contemporary high-stakes American education. He did away with Advanced Placement classes in the high school soon after he arrived at Riverdale; he encourages his teachers to limit the homework they assign; and he says that the standardized tests that Riverdale and other private schools require for admission to kindergarten and to middle school are “a patently unfair system” because they evaluate students almost entirely by I.Q. “This push on tests,” he told me, “is missing out on some serious parts of what it means to be a successful human.”

Read the rest of the article here!

What does "Pursue Growth and Learning" mean to you?

One of the things "pursue growth and learning" means to me is going outside of my comfort zone to try something new or difficult once in awhile.  This is hard to do but when I do, I find that the thing I initially thought would be really impossible isn't as scary as it seemed.

-Christian

To "pursue growth and learning" to me means to reflect on the areas where you excel or have an interest and try to learn more about those areas.  Doing this helps me to find areas where I can enhance my strength, learn more about a topic that interests me, and find new ideas related to this area.  I've always had an interest in music.  This year, I started learning how to play the piano.  I was able to build on an interest of mine and find a new creative outlet that has also helped me design orientation materials for our music program.

On the flip side, to "pursue growth and learning" also means to reflect on areas where I can further improve.  Reading more about these areas can help me find fresh ideas for making myself better in those areas.  For example, when I wanted to work on my communication skills, I read a chapter about candor in Jack Welch's book Winning.  This chapter really opened my eyes to the importance of open, honest communication.  I had no idea how much I needed to improve in this area until I started reading more about it.  

-Heather

I think the key part of “pursue growth and learning” is the word “pursue.” To pursue something is to make the effort to go out and actively seek it, rather than waiting for growth or learning to happen magically. It's so important to stretch yourself – even if you’re scared, even if you might fail. It’s about having a curious and open mind, wondering what’s possible, and then taking action to achieve it. With risk comes reward. You may not be able to predict what the reward will look like, but if you’re self-reflective, patient, and allow yourself the opportunity to try and to fail, some measure of wisdom and experience can be gained from every experience. Growth isn’t always comfortable – in fact, at times it can feel distinctly uncomfortable – but that does not mean that it's bad.

-Sonja

"Pursue growth & learning" has two equally important meanings for me:

First, it means not taking the easy way out or the easy route. It means accepting the challenge, being adventurous and taking risks because that's how you uncover the most information about a situation and about yourself and your own potential. It means putting yourself in situations where you will have to bring out your best and continually make your best better.  I think challenging yourself to learn and grow also puts you in situations that are more interesting and engaging, so you are in a position to make your best contribution as well as realize your full potential.

Second, it is an outlook that allows you to see the value of any experience, even if it was difficult or upsetting. It means pursuing a growth mindset; realizing what was gained (learned) from the experience and putting that new knowledge it into practice moving forward. 

-Bryce

The "Successful" Child: NW's second event with NPN!

Amanda Vogel recently joined up with the Neighborhood Parents Network to give a free talk to parents: Establishing Homework  Habits in Young Learners. She spoke about how to set up routines for academic success, how to foster indpendence, and how to strike a balance between being supportive and "over-helping." It was a very successful event, and a wonderful time was had by all!

Bernadette Pawlik, of NPN, put many of Amanda's techniques into practice. Read what she has to say a month later:

I can't truthfully say that homework is our son's favorite activity---but it has ceased to be his least favorite. In addition to reinforcing his academic skills, my sense is he is developing life skills he can use whatever the work might be throughout his life. 

Our next event with NPN is right around the corner: The "Successful" Child: Developing Persistence and Independence, coming up on Oct. 22nd.

RSVP with NPN at the link above - we would love to see you there!

Read for your Life!

It can be hard to decide what to read. There are so many options! I asked for recommendations from our tutors and got a wealth of suggestions for learners of all types and ages.


The "Uglies" series by Scott Westerfeld. For students who liked The Hunger Games (or, for students who aren't quite ready for the intensity and violence of The Hunger Games), Uglies is a similar type of story, about a dystopian future in which teenagers challenge a broken system and fight for a better world.
-Laura K.


Do Over by Robin Hemley was by far one of the best books I've read this year.  Hemley is at once insightful, funny, honest, confused, humble, and open in his approach to learn from his past "mistakes."  I respect the courage it takes for someone to address the "goofs" they've made in their lives, especially when it takes the form of doing a task over, which is what Hemley attempts - over and over again.  In each "do over," Hemley articulates the difficulty in identifying the "right thing to do" as he plays the role of both child and adult (often at the same time).  This book helped me see how my students can struggle to impress adults, and I think many adults who read it may gain perspective on the value of second chances.
-Kristi H.


A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers-- because it's a beautiful memoir, and is an honest story of true humanity.  It is full of emotion, and reminds the reader to spend time in gratitude and to enjoy the little things in life.
-Michelle W.


The Taqwacores. It's similar to The Catcher in the Rye but from the perspective of individuals in the Muslim  punk rock movement. 
-Chandani J.


The Secret Life of Pronouns is a fascinating non-fiction book. It's about how our use of the simplest, most boring words in the English lanugage reveals so much about our personalities - without us even realizing it! In the Woods by Tana French is a gorgeously written and suspenseful mystery that takes place in Ireland. If you like Law and Order and luscious prose, you should definitely pick it up.
-Sonja F.


For ages 12 - 15: The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by AVI or Fallen by Lauren Kate
     These books both have the drama of the Kardashians, but would challenge a student in one of two ways.  Confessions deals with more complex relationships and societal conflicts, but is told as a historical fiction. Fallen deals with all of the common teenage emotions, but from a different viewpoint of the world.  It could be related to Twilight, I suppose, but the main character is stronger.  This story is about fallen angels, the war of good and evil, and (probably most importantly to a teenaged girl) the beauty, power, and strength of eternal love.

For ages 16 & up: Identical by Ellen Hopkins or Sula by Toni Morrison
     These books both deal with the complex relationships of women who love each other and hate each other at the same time.  I think that they would be great for a more mature student who wants all the drama of gossipy women, while also challenging their reading skills.  Identical is the story of twin sisters and how they separately deal with their parents' messed up relationship told entirely in the form of poetry, which is unique and impressive.  Sula is about the lifelong relationship of two frenemies as told by the amazing Toni Morrison, so of course the writing style is unique, beautiful, and ambitious.  I would, however, be careful with these books because they both do deal with some adult issues, such as confusing sexual relationships, drugs, and abuse.
-Jessica S.


Peeling the Onion by Gunter Grass is an artful memoir of the Nobel Laureate, which recounts his childhood up through the writing of his first novel. He grew up in Germany as the Nazi party was taking hold. He was a member of the Hitler Youth and fought in the last year of the war for Germany. He discusses the accountability and guilt associated with these events, even though he was only 17 when the War ended. It's a very good read and gives a good background for understanding his novels, such as The Tin Drum and The Flounder.

I would also strongly recommend The Man Who Loved Only Numbers by Paul Hoffman.  It's a loose biography of the prolific mathematician Paul Erdos, an infamous eccentric in the mathematical community, who contributed greatly to the fields of number theory, combinatorics, probability theory, etc.  Even though it deals with mathematics, this is a very playful biography and discusses mathematical puzzles in a very intriguing and refreshing way.  It is very informative and fun! 

-Meagan D.

Anything by Ayn Rand will make someone think. Anthem for younger students. We the Living if they're into historical fiction and The Fountainhead for older students. I wouldn't recommend Atlas Shrugged until someone is in college. For high school students, Ray Bradbury's Farenheit 451 is also an excellent and thought provoking work.
-Pari S.

I'd suggest Moloka'i. It's about lepers and Hawaii and was really interesting. I would also recommend The Help or The Hunger Games trilogy (even though it's geared towards high school aged kids I think, I found them to be interesting and thought provoking - like Harry Potter meets V for Vendetta).
-Gretchen S.


102 Minutes: The Unforgettable Story of the Fight to Survive Inside the Twin Towers and Miracle on the Hudson.  Both books made me think about how people react in high stress situations and made me wonder if I could have done some of the things those people did on that day.
-Jackie D.


The Guns of August by Barbara Tuchman discusses the events leading up to WWI, all the government secrets, paranoia and treaties that resulted. Not a Good Day to Die by Sean Naylor is a great non-fiction about the failings of those in command (micromanaging, withholding critical intelligence, refusal to provide needed support), but how those on the ground prevailed regardless.
-Peter K.


Right now I'm reading Little Bee by Chris Cleave about a Nigerian refugee and her friendship with a British widower.  It's really good!
-Gabrielle S.


Did we miss your favorite book? Let us know in the comments!

NW Values: Pursue Growth and Learning

What does "Pursue Growth and Learning" mean to you?

To me, to pursue growth and learning means to seek out resources, to consult the experts as well as those in the trenches, to question and to listen and to attempt and to reflect. It means to be open to making mistakes and learning from them. Pursuing growth and learning means avoiding complacency and embracing change.

-Erin Doyle

I believe this means to make yourself better.  People should want to better themselves and learn- like in Mindset :) It is way of thinking. I think forcing yourself to pursue or look to change for improvement will not only make a person feel better, but also be a team player. Kids should not be the only people who need to grow and change, adults should too.  Learning is never ending as long as you let it.

-Jeanne

Pursue Growth and Learning means that you never have all the answers and there is always more to learn. It is important to always be interested in learning new things that might be out of your comfort zone or something you have always been interested in but never had the time to devote to it. It is important to always face a challenge head on and realize that no matter what happens, you will come out of it a better person. Being open to change and new things is an important trait to have.

-Lauren

Pursue Growth and Learning in October!

Perhaps it goes without saying, but here at Nurturing Wisdom, we’re a bunch of school nerds. We love learning!! There’s such a sense of satisfaction that comes from mastering a difficult skill, figuring out the solution to a complex problem, or learning how two seemingly unrelated concepts are connected.  As much as we try to enrich and engage our students, we also try to constantly challenge and improve ourselves.

That's why we've made October the official “Pursue Growth & Learning” month here at Nurturing Wisdom. To lead us off, here are some words from Pari on what that value means to her:

I bet "Pursue growth and learning" for a lot of people brings up images of taking classes, maybe going back to graduate school, or reading as many books as possible. 

To me, "Pursue growth and learning" is a mindset. I am a person who loves to grow, improve, and challenge myself. Yes, I read books and enjoy taking classes, but there is so much more to it than that! On a daily basis, I take the time to reflect on my day.  Did I have a good day? Why? Why not? What do I wish went differently today? What did I learn today?  

Taking the time each day to do this has accelerated my learning, but most importantly, it's accelerated my happiness in life. By constantly reflecting and learning from my own experiences, I've been able to grow as a person and enjoy my life. Every year of my life is better than the year before. So for me, "Pursue growth and learning" = "Pursue happiness."

-Pari Schacht