How do you engage a shy student?

We encounter all kinds of students at Nurturing Wisdom, and we do our very best to fulfill the needs of each one. As tutors, we love to see our students engaged, having fun and learning. Sometimes, when a student is very shy, we have to work a bit harder to break them out of their shell. We need to know that they're comfortable enough with us to ask questions, and that they're having fun too! I asked a few of our experienced tutors the following question:

How to you engage a very shy student?

"With a shy student, making a personal connection is key. In the first session, I probably spend more time getting to know a shy student than I would for an outgoing student, because they are less likely to offer information on their own. Usually, after chatting for a few minutes, they will tell you something personal about their lives - their favorite hobby, what they do after school, what they like to read, etc. Then I can respond to that ("I also love those books!" or "I didn't play that sport, but I played...") and we can go on from there. It is worth spending the extra few minutes to make that connection, because forming a bond with a shy student is key to their ultimate ability to open up and work with you."
-Laura Kurtycz


"Working with a shy student can be challenging at first. I am a very bubbly, outgoing person, so I have to make sure my personality isn't overwhelming. What I do is find out what they are interested in. Talk to them about sports, shopping, vacations, etc. I also like to make myself look like a fool. I tell stupid jokes to try to make them laugh, and really just show them that I am a person too. I have also talked about how I was shy in grade school and the beginning of high school. Then, I decided that I should just be myself and I wasn't trying to impress anyone. This is a very difficult task, but hearing it from someone who went through it seems to help."
-Lauren Feldmann


"I try to find out what the student is passionate about or knowledgeable on, and I ask him/her questions about that. (I also try to avoid yes/no questions!) It's usually easier for people to open up and talk about things that they love, and these little conversations are part of how the all-important rapport is built between me and my students.

This is why I really value the initial meetings that directors have with students and families before they start tutoring. Not only is the information helpful for the directors to match students, but it's also wonderful as a tutor to have an idea of how to connect with a student and how to teach them effectively, all before I walk into the first session."

-Sara McGuinn